Recent scientific studies and scholarly research have reached some startling conclusions about what makes people happy. To help understand how you can use this information, we spoke to Harvard lecturer and best-selling author Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD.
Each semester, more than 800 Harvard students register for his life-changing class on positive psychology. Students explore the question How can we help ourselves and others to become happier? The students read academic journal articles, test ideas, share personal stories and, by the end of the year, emerge with a clearer understanding of what psychology can teach us about leading happier, more fulfilling lives.

Is a person just “born happy” or “born unhappy”?
There is a genetic component to happiness. Some people are born with a happier disposition than others or with personality traits that are strong predictors of happiness, such as being sociable, active, stable and calm.
However, that doesn’t mean how happy we feel is out of our control. Our genes define a range, not a set point. “Grumpy” may not be able to cultivate the same view of life that “Happy” enjoys. A natural-born whiner may not be able to transform himself/herself into a Pollyanna. But we all can become significantly happier. Most people fall far short of their happiness potential.

Your research suggests that money and success matter little in terms of happiness.

Yet wouldn’t most people be happier if they won $5 million or a Nobel Prize?

This is a concept that my students and our society in general struggle with. Happiness largely depends on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. It depends on what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and on our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?
One of the most common barriers to happiness is the false expectation that one thing — a promotion at work, a prize, a revelation — will bring us eternal bliss. As soon as you achieve your goal, the “what’s next” syndrome kicks in, leaving you as unfulfilled as before.
Let me tell you a personal story. When I was 16 years old, I won the Israeli National Squash Championship. I always believed that winning the title would make me happy and alleviate the emptiness I felt so much of the time. Winning the championship was necessary for fulfillment. Fulfillment was necessary for happiness. That was the logic I operated under.
After a night of celebration, I retired to my room to savor that feeling of supreme happiness. But my feelings of emptiness returned. I sat around trying to convince myself that perhaps substituting a new goal — winning the World Championship — would finally lead me to happiness.
What I came to realize was that a major victory can contribute to our well-being, but at best, it forms a small part of the mosaic of a happy life. The fairy-tale notion of happiness — that something will carry us to the happily ever after — inevitably leads to disappointment. A happy life is rarely shaped by some extraordinary life-changing event. Rather, it is shaped incrementally, experience by experience, moment by moment.

So what does make us happy?
We must first accept that this is it! All there is to life is the day-to-day, the ordinary, the details of the mosaic. We are living a happy life when we derive pleasure and meaning while spending time with our loved ones or learning something new. The more our days are filled with these experiences, the happier we become.
The other significant component of happiness is that helping oneself and helping others are inextricably intertwined. The more we help others, the happier we become… and the happier we become, the more inclined we are to help others. Our nature is such that there are few more satisfying acts than sharing with others, than feeling that we contributed to the lives of others.

What else can people do to be happy?
There are several things you can start right away…

Simplify.
We are too busy trying to squeeze more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

Introduce rituals into your life that are motivated by deeply held values.
Think about what rituals would make you happier. It could be watching two movies a month or going on a date with your spouse every Tuesday. People are resistant to the idea of introducing ritualistic behavior in their lives because they think it will detract from spontaneity. But if you don’t ritualize activities you cherish, you often don’t get to them.

Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, rather than taking them for granted.
One of the best ways to do this is by keeping a daily gratitude journal. Each night, before you go to sleep, write down at least five things that made or make you happy. These can be little or big — from a meal you enjoyed to a meaningful conversation you had with a friend, from a project at work, to God.

What if a person is going through a really hard time in his life — for example, he dislikes his job, but there’s nothing he can do about it right away. How can that person be happier?
We all must endure periods, sometimes extended ones, in which much of what we do affords us minimal satisfaction. During those times, it’s important to see these periods with a broader perspective and find ways to imbue them with meaning.
In a fascinating study of hospital janitors, one group experienced their work as boring and meaningless, but the other group perceived the same work as engaging and meaningful because they crafted their work in creative ways. They interacted more with nurses and patients, and they saw their work not merely as removing the garbage and washing dirty linen but contributing to the patients’ well-being and the smooth functioning of the hospital.
When changing your perception isn’t feasible or effective, I find that one or two happy experiences during an otherwise uninspiring period can transform our general state. These brief but transforming experiences, which I call “happiness boosters” provide us with meaning and pleasure.
For example, I met a partner in a top consulting firm. Now in his 50s, he no longer enjoys consulting, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to leave his profession or give up the lifestyle that he and his family have grown accustomed to. He was able to reduce his workload enough to spend two evenings each week with his family. He also plays tennis twice a week and reads for three hours. He joined the board of his former high school, where he feels he can contribute in a meaningful way to the next generation. In an ideal world, he would be spending his working hours doing something he is passionate about, but he is still happier than he has been in a long time.

Source(s):
Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD, one of Harvard University’s most popular lecturers. For the past 10 years, he has taught personal and organizational excellence, leadership, ethics and self-esteem. His best-selling book, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment (McGraw-Hill), has been translated into more than 20 languages

Source(s):

Lauren Zander, cofounder and chairman, The Handel Group, www.thehandelgroup.com.

Joan Price

Lack of time is a primary reason people give for failing to get the recommended 30 to 60 minutes of moderate intensity exercise most days of the week. Admittedly, it can be tough to find such a big chunk of time in your busy schedule.
What helps: Instead of feeling compelled to cram an entire day’s worth of exercise into a single block of time, commit to fitting in little bursts of physical activity — two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes — throughout the day. The more these “fitness minutes” add up, the more you reap the benefits of exercise, including improved health, better weight control, increased energy and a sense of well-being.

IN THE MORNING…

• When your alarm clock rings — instead of pressing the snooze button, get up and use those extra minutes to do some gentle yoga poses.
• While brushing your teeth — do calf raises. Standing, slowly rise onto the balls of your feet… hold for several seconds… return to the starting position. Repeat, continuing for two minutes.
• In the shower — give your upper back muscles a workout. Squeeze your shoulder blades together… hold for five to 10 seconds… rest for a moment. Repeat 10 to 15 times.
• While you style your hair — squeeze your buttocks muscles as hard as you can for 10 seconds… rest for several seconds… repeat five to 10 times.
• When going down stairs — turn around at the bottom of the stairs and go back up, making one or more extra up-and-down trips.
• As the coffee is brewing — hop on your right foot 10 times… then hop on the left foot. Repeat twice.
• When letting the dog out — go with him for a short walk.

OUT AND ABOUT…

• At the gas station — walk inside to pay rather than swiping a credit card at the pump. Instead of sitting in your car as the gas flows, clean all your windows, alternating the hand that holds the squeegee.
• At every red light — do shoulder shrugs and roll your shoulders… repeatedly tighten and release your thigh muscles… rotate one wrist, then the other wrist.
• When parking — instead of finding a spot close to your destination, get one a few blocks away.
• Upon entering a store — if all the items you need will fit in a shopping basket, choose a basket instead of a cart.
• As you shop — if you need a cart, do 10 bicep curls with weightier items — soup cans, juice jugs — before placing them in your cart. (If you feel silly doing this in public, do your bicep curls at home as you put the items in the pantry.)
• While waiting in line — work your abdominal muscles. Suck in your belly and tighten your abs… hold for 10 seconds… relax. Repeat five to 10 times.
• On a long car trip — stop every 50 miles or so, and take a walk around a rest stop or scenic area.
• When traveling by bus, plane or train — walk up and down the aisle for at least five minutes every hour.

AT YOUR DESK…

• While on the phone — march in place or pace around your office.
• As you read e-mail — lift your right foot several inches off the floor… rotate your ankle clockwise several times, then counterclockwise… lower the foot. Repeat on the left side.
• If you need to talk with a coworker — walk over to her office instead of phoning. When you get back to your own desk, before sitting down, hold your arms out to the side and circle them forward 15 times, then backward.
• Each time you finish a task — do “chair dips.” With feet flat on the floor, place your hands on the armrests and push your body up (so your rear end hovers above the seat)… hold for several seconds… lower yourself back into the chair. Repeat 10 times. (Skip this if your chair has wheels.)
• During your lunch break — take a walk through the office complex.
• In the restroom — stand and reach for the sky for 30 seconds… then do 10 jumping jacks.
• If you drop a pencil (or at least once a day) — do a variation on toe touches. Stand up, bend down, pick up the pencil, straighten up… drop the pencil again. Repeat 10 times.

IN THE EVENING…

• Before starting dinner — take a quick ride around the neighborhood on your bicycle.
• At the dinner table — do leg lifts. Sit with feet flat on the floor. Straighten your right leg to hold your right foot out in front of you… lift your right thigh a few inches off the chair and hold for several seconds… lower the foot. Repeat 10 times, then switch to the left leg.
• Doing laundry — when you grab a basket of clothes, tighten abdominal muscles and, with your back straight, lift the basket from hip height to chest height five times.
• Listening to the radio or a CD — dance around the room for one entire song. Repeat several times.
• While watching TV — pop an exercise video or DVD in your player. Every time the TV show cuts to a commercial break, turn on the player and follow along with the workout for several minutes.
• Climbing the stairs — take the steps two at a time. (Do not do this if you have balance problems.)
• After washing your face — tilt your head slowly from side to side, feeling a good stretch along your neck… try to touch your chin to your chest to stretch the back of your neck.
• Before climbing into bed — raise your arms overhead… tilt gently to the right, feeling the stretch along the left side of your torso… then tilt to the left. Repeat five times.
• When you lie down — do knee hugs. Lie on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the mattress. Raise one leg, place your hands behind the thigh and draw the leg toward your chest. Hold for 30 seconds… return to starting position. Repeat with the other leg.
• Closing your eyes — breathe in and out deeply 10 time
  s, feeling grateful for all that your body was capable of doing during the day.

Source(s):

Bottom Line/Women’s Health interviewed Joan Price, a certified fitness instructor and motivational speaker based in Sebastopol, California, and author of six books, including “The Anytime, Anywhere Exercise Book” (iUniverse). She credits her commitment to exercise for her success in twice regaining the ability to walk and dance after two head-on car crashes. www.joanprice.com

Source(s):Tores Theorell, MD, PhD, professor emeritus, Stress Research Institute, Stockholm University, Sweden.Emil F. Coccaro, MD, E.C. Manning Professor and Chairman, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral neuroscience, Biological Sciences Division, The University of Chicago.

The list of celebrities getting toppled from their perches due to their human failings gets longer and longer… John Edwards, Tiger Woods and Kirstie Alley are just a few recently in the headlines. Not to mention that our fascination with human weakness has turned into a booming industry known as reality television shows.

But what’s even more fascinating than watching all these beautiful, successful people fall? Seeing how they return from the ruin. The drug abuser who comes clean and writes a book… the fitness trainer who was once obese… the philanderer who rebuilds his commitment to wife and family — these people serve as inspiration we love to embrace. According to life coach and Daily Health News regular contributor Lauren Zander, CEO of the Handel Group, there is a very good reason why we find them so entrancing: “Focusing on the failures of others allows us to hide from our own weaknesses, reassuring ourselves that we must be fine since we’d never do that.”

It’s Part of the Story

The truth is that our weaknesses (we all have them) are part of being human. Overcoming them is part of the adventure of life, whereas covering up and hiding from a simple weakness can transform it into an obstacle that holds back personal development, and perhaps even destroys your life.

Have you noticed that people who’ve taken charge of failings and turned them around exude more confidence? With their stronger sense of self, they’re better and more inspiring teachers than those who have never had to confront their demons. Since the entire world is facing challenges right now, Lauren says it’s an ideal time to unmask our own weaknesses and take a different approach — embrace them. She points out that everyone has positive and negative traits, adding “It’s better to be honest about your challenges than to make believe that they don’t exist, since, I promise you, the rest of the world is very aware of your shortcomings.”

Accepting and acknowledging our weaknesses makes us immediately more authentic and real. Furthermore, it is only by admitting to our negative traits that we can begin to work on changing them. “Inherent in the concept of making something better is that you have to acknowledge that it’s a problem,” says Lauren. “It’s the light emerging from the dark, the yin/yang of life.”

But when you acknowledge what is negative in your life you also introduce a crucial question — are you willing to do the work to make it better? “It isn’t easy to change the way you live — how you eat, how you talk to others, the routines of your life,” says Lauren. Making improvements requires awareness, adjustment and commitment. “Avoiding the conversation means that you don’t have to deal with it,” she says. “But once you figure out that it is possible to turn not-so-great into something you’re proud of, you have the inspiration that leads to making a better life.”

Picture This

Lauren suggests that one way to get good at admitting your flaws without feeling humiliated is to start a list of your weaknesses in a private journal. Be utterly honest — the whole point is to realize that we all have human frailties. What are yours? Write down the large and small ones, then review your list to choose what you most want to change. Use your journal to describe how your life will be transformed if you take control of them. For example, if you have a tendency to spend too much money, visualize and write about a growing balance in your bank account and how calm you’ll be if you no longer have to worry about whether you’ll be able to pay your bills.

Now that you can picture how your life would be improved if you could turn your weaknesses around, it’s time to decide how to get from here to there. Using the spending example again, what could you do that would force you to stop spending? Cut up credit cards? Allow yourself to buy things only with cash? Create a budget? Limit yourself to a certain number of fun purchases a month?

The task of laying out the steps required to change your behavior may lead to some introspection. Do you shop as a way to give to yourself? Maybe you need more attention from your significant other or to find another way to indulge your need for self-expression and pleasure. Recognizing such root causes allows you to figure out how to fix the problem, which will then make it easier to actually solve it by cutting back on spending.

Life Gets Better and Better

Life is all about problem solving, so the challenge of self-improvement never goes away. As Lauren points out, “Once you have managed to run one mile, you can now push yourself to run two. There is always a better way… more generous love… a deeper connection… more money… greater intimacy… better health… more.”

And since there is no such thing as human perfection, Lauren advises learning to enjoy the process of turning your weaknesses into strengths. Why not share this project with someone you love, perhaps your sibling or best friend or partner or spouse? Together you can discuss what change means, what you wish could be different and how you can achieve it. This can (and should) be accomplished with kindness and generosity, says Lauren — no poking fun or being snide about one another’s failings. “Accept as a fact that we all have negative traits, and try to get comfortable with the intimacy of talking about yours,” she says. “You can then allow that ease to liberate you by learning to love your failings, embracing them as yours and using them to grow better and stronger throughout the rest of your life.”

Source(s):

Lauren Zander, life coach, chairman and founder of Handel Group, www.thehandelgroup.com.