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	<title>Bruised Onion.com &#187; Divorce</title>
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		<title>What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?</title>
		<link>http://www.bruisedonion.com/170/what-constitutes-a-viable-reason-for-thinking-about-or-wanting-a-divorce/</link>
		<comments>http://www.bruisedonion.com/170/what-constitutes-a-viable-reason-for-thinking-about-or-wanting-a-divorce/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:41:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting & Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bruisedonion.com/?p=170</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[According to the Center for Disease Control&#8217;s National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="KonaBody"><p>According to the Center for Disease Control&#8217;s National Vital Statistics<br />
Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of<br />
remarriages end in divorce.</p>
<p>But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment.</p>
<p>I imagine that there are somewhat similar statistics worldwide.<br />
With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how complex it can be when<br />
people think they want a divorce, they have difficulty identifying how a<br />
truly viable divorce reason might be defined. Wanting happiness through<br />
marriage and wrestling with what may seem an inevitable outcome (divorce), can be emotionally and mentally<br />
challenging.</p>
<p>After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured and secure, no matter<br />
where you live!<br />
So, if you&#8217;re thinking about getting a divorce, what are truly viable reasons<br />
for actually getting a divorce?</p>
<p>Each government has different laws defining the difference<br />
between &#8216;fault&#8217; and &#8216;no-fault&#8217; divorce reasons that have enough merit that<br />
allow for the divorce to be granted.<br />
While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there may be financial considerations to think<br />
of, you should first focus on defining your own emotional or &#8220;personal&#8221;<br />
divorce reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.</p>
<p>If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for wanting a divorce,<br />
you&#8217;ll most likely get 100 different answers because they&#8217;ll answer you<br />
from their perspective, not yours.</p>
<p>Sure, there may be similarities to the way you feel in some of those answers<br />
about &#8216;real&#8217; divorce reasons, you may even agree with some. But, the real<br />
answers to this question can only come from you. You have to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in your mind in order to actually go<br />
through your decision about getting a divorce or staying married.</p>
<p>Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or wanting a<br />
divorce, are purely selfish and have no substance. An example of a reason<br />
for wanting a divorce that has no substance is not liking the fact that<br />
your spouse has constant unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper problem<br />
that exists here, and in the case of this example, it could be that the<br />
spouse who constantly feels jealousy has a confidence problem or some sort<br />
of &#8216;fear of loss&#8217;. Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example<br />
clearly isn&#8217;t viable and should relatively easy to fix.</p>
<p>Often times when people give &#8216;surface&#8217; or flimsy reasons for wanting a<br />
divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about something and they&#8217;re<br />
just using the shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or, they<br />
give these &#8216;foundation-less&#8217; reasons for wanting a divorce because they<br />
actually aren&#8217;t aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are<br />
the cause of the way they feel now.</p>
<p>Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get a divorce:</p>
<p>*Couple has conflicting personal<br />
beliefs</p>
<p>*Couple’s marital satisfaction<br />
decreases</p>
<p>*Desertion</p>
<p>*Adultery</p>
<p>*Cruel treatment</p>
<p>*Bigamy</p>
<p>*Imprisonment</p>
<p>*Spousal Indignities</p>
<p>*Institutionalization</p>
<p>*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind</p>
<p>Of course, you should add your own reasons to the list for wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list. Solid divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of<br />
occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the<br />
marriage itself.</p>
<p>In order to really make a smart decision, you should first list the<br />
reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine those divorce<br />
reasons for true viability. Then come back to it that list in a day or so.</p>
<p>Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for<br />
wanting a divorce off the list because they were identified purely from an<br />
emotional viewpoint rather than logic.</p>
<p>If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven&#8217;t clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do, you&#8217;ll be doing yourself a &#8216;dis-service&#8217; if you act without carefully examining the viability each designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are<br />
truthfully viable to you before you act on them.</p>
<p>For more info and articles on Divorce visit:<br />
<a href="http://www.bruisedonion.com/guide/divorce/">http://www.bruisedonion.com/guide/divorce/</a></p>
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